


James Tiberius Kirk

by Blurryface_Superwholock67



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angry Bones, Arguing, Confused Kirk, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, No Spoilers, Post Into Darkness, post beyond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blurryface_Superwholock67/pseuds/Blurryface_Superwholock67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK, WE NEED TO TALK!" Bones shouts as he bursts on to the bridge. Everyone falls silent.</p><p>"Bones?" Kirk says.</p><p>Bones shakes his head and walks directly up to Jim. "Just when the hell were you planning to tell me about this?"</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where Bones finds something in Jim's room and confronts him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	James Tiberius Kirk

0900\. New day cruising through the endless vastness of space. Captain Kirk stands on the bridge, before the glass as he looks out into the void, noting the stars they pass. It relaxes him, knowing that he made it. He's amongst the stars, seeking adventure through space, what else more could feel like home?

 

Kirk smiles to himself at that question. There is one place that will always be home, it has been more of a home to him than even the stars and planets. Well it's not really a place, it's a person.

 

Bones and Jim had been dating for a little over eight months now, and yes, though they never outright announced it, everyone knew about it. Although there were times when people would question this fact by the way they acted around each other. Always bickering, or arguing. (Which was really, just how they spoke to each other, and Kirk liked it.) Never really showing affection. Even Spock and Uhura were seen kissing every once in awhile. Neither Jim nor Bones really cared to show affection in public.

 

Yes, there was an occasional kiss on the cheek in greeting or goodbyes and on anniversaries there was more than enough love notes and flowers to go around, but not much else besides being in each others company, but they knew how each felt for the other and that was enough for both.

 

Kirk sighs at the peace and calm outside, knowing that tomorrow they have a three day shore leave. He'd been wanting to spend some real time with Bones for quite a while now.

 

He turns to face the crew. "Mr. Sulu, are we coming up on anything? I wouldn’t want something like last week's surprise asteroid field incident, happening again."

 

"Negative Sir, all smooth sailing from here." He replies.

 

Kirk smiles and nods to him. "Good."

 

"Engineering to bridge. Engineering to bridge." Scotty breaks through on the comm.

 

"What is it, Scotty?" Kirk answers

　

"All due respect sir, but, what did you say to Dr. McCoy?"

 

Kirk isn’t sure he heard Scotty right. What did he say to Dr. McCoy? What the hell was that supposed to mean?

 

"Uh, I'm sorry Scotty, is something wrong? Is Dr. McCoy alright?" He asks suddenly worried.

　

"He's fine sir- well- he's not injured if that's what you mean. Alright, I better get it over with, I was up in the Medical bay having a chat with one of the nurses about the obvious lack of safety medical equipment in the engineering room, when the doctor burst through the door like a madman. I'll be honest with you sir, he looked pissed. He had a box in his arms which he threw on the counter, mumbling all the way, as he pulled something I couldn't see out of the box and stormed out the room without a word. I haven't seen him since, granted that was about two minutes ago, but still. What happened, Sir?"

　

"I can't say that I know, but I'll find him and talk to him." Kirk says, relieved Bones isn't hurt, but confused as to why he's upset.

　

"Be sure that you do,” Scotty says. “I have never been more scared of that man in my life, let me tell you."

　

"I'll handle it, Scotty, thank you." Kirk says before he cuts transmission. "Spock I'm assuming you heard what kind of emergency this is, I will be back soon, in the meantime you have-"

 

"JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK, WE NEED TO TALK!" Bones shouts as he bursts on to the bridge. Everyone falls silent.

　

"Bones?" Kirk says.

　

Bones shakes his head and walks directly up to Jim. "Just when the hell were you planning to tell me about this?!"

　

He holds up a recording device in between them, which must've been what Scotty saw him take from the box. Kirk recognizes it immediately. There was only ever one recording made on that thing. Kirk had been the one to make it.

　

"Shit."

　

"REALLY? Really? That's all you have to say for yourself? Did you think I would never find out?!" The crew members are glued to the scene unfolding in front of them. No one had ever seen McCoy so pissed, and despite what people might think they see, no one had ever seen Kirk and Bones fight. Ever.

　

"Where did you even find that? I thought I- put it away." Jim tries to change the subject.

　

"I was in my office, realized I'd left some important documents in the Captain's Quarters, went to find them and found this instead. So why don't you explain to me, why I didn't know about it?" He demands. Jim has never seen Bones so livid before, but into his eyes, there's anger but there's also hurt. Behind those hardened hazel's, there's hurt. Something he put there.

　

Jim bows his head and sighs. "I didn't want to worry you. It's nothing to get so upset over, Bones."

　

He wants to take those words back as soon as he says them, especially when he looks back at Bones. "Nothing to get upset over?! Well mission accomplished Jim, I'm not upset, I'm furious! And you better damn well believe I'm worried. If anything like this happens, you tell me. You tell me, Jim." He says the last sentence with force and Jim nods his head.

　

"It happened a couple of weeks ago, during that crazy epidemic." Jim says trying to get Bones to remember. "You were so stressed and busy during that whole period, how could I tell you? You were up to your neck in work, and everyday you still had more-"

　

"To hell with whatever I'm doing, Jim. You never, ever, go through something like this alone. Never. Especially not when I could be there." Jim can't help but love the love he sees in Bones' eyes. Bones grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him close. "I don't care what is going on at the time. I do care about you, you idiot." Bones says, but he says it so softly, Jim knows he really does care.

　

Jim rests their foreheads together. "I know, Bones, I know, and I'm sorry. If anything like this ever happens, I promise I'll call. I promise."

 

Bones lets out a shaky sigh. "Damn it, Jim."

　

Jim cups his hands on either side of Leonard’s face and tilts his head, and kisses him, softly. He gives him a small smile when he pulls away, and Len leans back in, sneaking his arms around Jim's waist, pulling him closer. Jim drapes his arms across Len's shoulders as Len kisses him stupid.

　

It's at least a full minute before they pull away, and when they do, Leonard realizes for the first time, that they aren't alone. When he sees the audience they have, he frowns his usual Bones frown and Jim smirks his usual Jim smirk, and all is back the way it should be.

　

Bones grumbles and pulls away from Jim. "Sorry kids, show's over." He says as he walks out.

　

Jim only smiles widely and sits in his captain's chair like nothing happened.

 

________________

 

_There’s a small beep as Bones presses play, on the device. He waits._

_After a few seconds, a shaky voice comes through the speakers. At first, it’s just haggard breathing, but Bones recognizes the person taking those breaths. His heart drops._

_There are sniffles in the background and the shift of movement as well._

_“H-hey,” finally comes Jim’s familiar voice, but it’s nothing like the strong, confident, swagger of a voice that Jim usually has. This voice is strained and broken, and Bones doesn’t understand why. “so, right now, it’s gotta be” there’s a pause, “It’s gotta be” a deep breath and a deep exhale, he’s trying to steady himself, Bones realizes. “It’s around three in the morning, uh, I ca- can’t sleep. I’m not sure why, but every time I try to- I just- I can’t. I close my eyes, and I see these horrible visions.” Another pause. A sniffle. A breath._

_“Look- I’m going to be straight with this. This is my recording, and I read somewhere that talking out loud about something difficult to say, relieves stress, so I’m trying it out. I’m trying it out.” Another deep breath. “The visions I see are of the crew. It’s- it’s Scotty, and Uhura and Spock and Sulu, Chekov, Carol- They’re all- they’re all there. They’re all there. And-” A short breath. “And pretty much, they’re all leaving Starfleet. Leaving me.”_

_He says those last two words so softly, that Bones almost believes he imagined them._

_“Look- I know there’s gotta be a term for it somewhere- and I don’t, ah, I don’t- know what it is but basically-” Another pause. “I have a major fear of abandonment.”_

_Those words hit Bones like a brick wall. He knew about Jim’s past, Jim had told him. It wasn’t at once, when he told him. Not at all. It came slowly through the years, in whispered words of trust and more than enough tears, but Bones was now proudly the only man to fully know James Tiberius Kirk, and he loved him. He loved him. It was only now that Bones truly realized how precious Jim holds his love._

_“And in these visions-” Jim’s voice pulls him back to the recording. “In these visions, my family is Abandoning me.” There is another pause but it’s not a silent one as the others have mostly been._

_Bones can hear him crying. He can hear the fast breath, the sniffles, the small sobs. He can practically see Jim breaking down in front of his eyes, and it breaks his heart._

_After a few more deep breaths, there is a small silence. “But that is nothing close compared to the worst part.”_

_“Jim, no.” Bones finds himself saying to the air._

_He knows what Jim is going to say, he can feel it. “The worst part is him.” Jim says. “He sees me and I see him, I beg him not to leave me too, but he walks away.” Jim pauses again with more sobs. “I run to him, I beg him to stay. I tell him I love him. I tell him I love him- but he still leaves.” Jim sobs. “Bones still leaves me.”_

_Bones can’t believe what he is hearing. How could Jim ever think that he would ever leave him?_

_Bones waits as Jim says nothing. He waits what seems like hours, through the crying coming from the speakers. Jim finally calms down enough to speak._

_“I know it would never happen. I know it.” Jim says. Bones feels stronger in that. “But it still hurts to see it.”_

_Another long pause as Jim composes himself._

_“Every time I try to sleep it’s what I see,” he says. “But not when I sleep with Bones- with Leonard.” Bones is surprised at the use of his first name. “When he’s there,” Jim continues, “I know I’m safe. I always feel safe when he’s there.”_

_It’s bittersweet and Bones thinks his teeth’ll rot from it, but he likes the sentiment._

_Jim takes a large inhale and exhale. “I guess that’s it.” He laughs, but there's no joy in it. “I had to talk about it. I didn’t know how, and since I’m never even looking at this thing ever again, I guess this was the best way.”_

_Bones again is shocked. Jim knows he can come to him. For anything. Why had he never said anything? How long ago did this happen? When did it happen?_

_“Well, all I can say is, I hope Bones comes around soon.” He laughs again. Then silence. “I know I’m gonna get through this. Somewhere down the line this will all be a bad dream, but talking about it, and actually getting everything out, really did help. Now I gotta go find a box to bury this thing in, and a movie to watch to pass the night away. Kirk out.”_

_The transmission ends._

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys, Kinda left that one out there, but mostly because I have some Ideas for a possible second and third chapter. If you want me to continue writing from this, please let me know. Other than that, thank you so much for reading this even though some of you are reading this at god-knows-what in the morning. (Don't worry, I do it all the time. We're in the same boat. I swear I was supposed to live on the other side of the world.) Anyway I love you all, especially that top you're wearing, so cute! I give you a Kudos for that one. Byee!


End file.
